Now I know why Radio 4 listeners are so conservative

I am probably your typical lazy student, although I’ve always been an awful morning person so it’s not really anything to do with being a stinky student. So when I have an earlyish lecture, it is a right chore, especially because I have to get up extra early because I have to take the train in. If I’m willing to take a risk and take the last possible train without being horrendously late, some days I have to be out of the door before 8:45.

I’ve noted a few times before that I find it hard to understand why some of Radio 4’s listeners get so enraged by the smallest change to its output. Like the ditching of The UK Theme. But over time I have learned that you can — and sometimes do — rely on Radio 4 like clockwork.

I am terrible in the mornings. If I have an early start (and by ‘early’ I mean earlier than 11), you can forget it. I’ll set the alarm, and it will wake me up, oh yes. But I’ll only switch it off and go back to sleep again. I’m not one of these people who wakes up and is all of a sudden alert and can’t get back to sleep again — I wish I could do that; I’m so jealous. Instead, if it’s before 9 o’clock, I’ll switch over to Radio 4 and shove my head under the duvet. Usually I’ll fall back fast asleep.

This is exactly what I did last week. I was fast asleep. I have absolutely no recollection of anything that was on the radio between 7:45 (when my alarm went off) and 8:25. But the utterance of one simple sentence changes all that.

And now here’s Gary with the sport.

Those words, spoken every day at 8:25, are like claxons going off directly next to my ear. It is a wailing siren; a signal that I really have to jump out of bed right now and head off to catch the train. Thank goodness for Radio 4. If they ever move the sport, I will be the first to get out my collection of green pens and fire off an irate letter to the controller of Radio 4.