ITV hits a new low, television hits a new low, Britain does aswell, oh and civilisation aswell

ITV’s latest late-night money-making programme is such a massive pile of arse powder that it has to be seen to be believed. I think they are sensing that the tide is turning against quiz television. The regulators will have caught up soon enough. So now they have set up a dating service called ITV Playdate.

Somehow, ITV manage to find up to a dozen people who are shameless enough to sit in a studio with laptops connecting them up to anybody who wants to phone or text them up. For £1 per go, naturally.

As you would expect on a dating show, the participants probably haven’t scored in an age and are fairly desperate. I guess you would have to be prepared to appear on national television basically saying, “I can’t get a partner any other way than by advertising this very fact on television.”

Most of them are your typical socially awkward types. Some of them are just all-out dickwads though. One ‘DJ’ who appeared on the programme seemed to genuinely think he was Goldie. He had more chains than he had teeth. He actually used ‘Bo!’ as a greeting without a hint of irony.

These people obviously never get any callers. They often cite “technical problems”. Yeah right. Something tells me the socially awkward one who’s hiding behind his hair has no problems working his computer at home.

And then sitting centre stage is the attractive young woman who has received twenty calls in the past hour. Some of the callers have gone “a bit too far” apparently. Yuk! ITV, do you see what you have done?!

This might not be at the level of Party People or the various other babestation channels which basically consist of dirty men asking for extreme closeups of the girls’ feet. But at least those channels don’t pretend otherwise. ITV Playdate acts as though it’s a classy programme, but it is not.

Now phucker has alerted us to the contents of the ITV Playdate website. And this is where the last remaining vestiges of good taste are thrown out of the top floor window, kicked around, stamped on, shat on and something elsed on that I really don’t want to say!

Presenter Brendan Courtney is aged “22 (and a bit … and the bit is my own business)”. That’s a joke already. The bit looks as though it’s at least twenty. But just wait until you see what he lists as his favourite scent.

Favourite scent: Old Spice, Bukkake.

What the fuck?! Bukkake?!? Does he even know what it is? Which wise guy at ITV thought that it would be okay to put this on the website? Aaargh!


  1. That is hilarious. Given that it also says “Brendan Courtney is the alternative Miss World 1987” I suspect it’s the work of a disgruntled webmaster. On the other hand, since “bukkake” in Japanese literally means “splash” then it could I suppose be the name of a real aftershave – but I’m not googling for it.

    You should send it on to the likes of Popbitch or B3ta – who of course have their own way of commemorating bukkake (surprisingly SFW, as they put it)

  2. After 5 minutes of watching ITV I feel like I have been transported back to some wet grey day in the depths of the mid 90’s.