Don’t you realise that they’re British?!

James Blunt. He’s a bit of an easy target isn’t he? Doesn’t mean you should refrain though.

At last week’s Brit Awards, Chris Martin went on stage and yelped these words of utter genius: “Stop giving James Blunt a hard time, cos, he’s British, and all that stuff.” I never even knew he was British. So why the hell does he sing like an incontinent American softy whose mum lays out his pyjamas on his bed every night?

And I hate people who say James Blunt has a good voice. It is dire. I think ‘You’re Beautiful’ would actually be a good song if somebody reasonable was singing it. His voice sounds makes him soud like he is a cat whose tail is being stood on permanently.

Anyway, I think Chris Martin is definitely on to something here, so I thought I’d compile a list of people who we should really get behind, cos, they’re British, and all that stuff.

  • James Blunt
  • Harold Shipman
  • Chris Martin
  • Jade Goody
  • Tony Blair
  • Gary Glitter
  • Oswald Mosley
  • Max Mosley
  • Greg Rusedski
  • Paul McKenna
  • George Galloway

Remember, they’re all British, and we should be proud. So get off their case!

12 comments

  1. Heh – just as I finished reading this, what should appear on the tele but an ad for Blunt’s latest release.

    I’ve only heard the one song of his, and whilst he’s a handsome chap and not that appalling a singer his songs are to me, quite simply, cliched, uninspiring and as shallow as all hell. Not unlike Chris Martin’s, in fact.

  2. Am I the only person that finds Chris Martin a crushing bore.He lost me a while back when he attacked shareholders & public companies as evil & he is signed to a label that is one of the biggest!

  3. … and why should CM’s opinion matter to me? I get a bit hacked off with the pop folk these days who seem to think that having a #1 (although most of them sound like #2’s to me!) makes them an “expert” on everything – sheesh!

    I don’t pay much mind to the Brits these days – pretty irrelevant to my (wierd) musical tastes – nice to see K.T. won though, kinda rooting for the “local” lass! 🙂

    Well done K.T. !!

    (Talking about Jade Goody, did anyone see her on Mock The Week the other week – is she really THAT stoopid?!)

  4. Just to clarify to everyone, Alan wasm’t complaining about Pete, but about those Chinese spam comments that appear every so often. The spam guards must find them much more difficult to detect, although luckily there aren’t so many of them…

    Pete, Radiohead are the same as well. I don’t have a problem with any band being signed to a major label, but they shouldn’t be hypocrites about it.

  5. Sorry, but the instant I see or hear the dread words “James Blunt” nowadays, I start to go red in the face and have to lie down in a darkened room somwhere. Grrrrrrr.

    You’re byooootifall! You’re byooootifall!

    I can see where your “incontinent American softy” thing comes from, but personally I’d liken him to an Afrikaaner parrot with a chest infection.

  6. (Talking about Jade Goody, did anyone see her on Mock The Week the other week – is she really THAT stoopid?!)

    She was on 8 out of 10 Cats not Mock the Week – I think, don’t hold me to it! And yes, I think she IS that stupid, that or it’s all an act and we’re the fools…

  7. The crossed-out Greg Rusedski made me laugh. Not guffaw, but more than a titter. Just what I needed this AM.

    Like the new look once my eyes adjusted to it, btw.