Hating haircuts and ginger beards

Richard Leyton has a good post about his fear or hairdressers.

I have the same problem. I think the last time I went to a barber must have been at least five years ago.

When I was young I never really liked getting my hair cut because I went in familiar with myself and came out as a stranger, looking weird. I hated it when other people got their hair cut aswell. It just doesn’t look right, does it?

So my hair tended to be quite long, which was problematic because the rather stupid shape it grew into caused my hair to be a laughing stock. Somebody once even called me ‘Pot Noodle Head’.

Going to the hairdresser’s was okay though, so long as my mother was there. But then one day she just told me to go and get my haircut on my own. So I had to go along and try to describe the haircut that I didn’t even know I wanted. Every single time I got my hair cut it looked different. I just stopped going.

I ended up growing my hair longish, partly because I hated barbers and partly because of a bet (which wasn’t honoured, DAMNIT). Just about everybody in earshot was going to give me a tenner if I went for a year without getting my haircut.

I ended up going for longer thanIt looked kind of stupid at first, but I expected that. I thought it would turn out okay in the long run. But it didn’t. It just kept on looking stupid. I think my hair was actually wider than it was long.

After a couple of years of that I decided to go completely in the other direction. I got the clippers out and chopped most of my hair off, keeping it the same length as my beard (I also hate shaving — such a waste of time). That approach worked the best. All of a sudden people said I looked like Justin Timberlake, Ronan Keating and, er, Graeme Dott. Previously rational people wanted to rub my hair to feel the fuzziness.

Having my beard the same length as my hair has its plusses and minuses. Obviously it was easy to just do it all in one go. Because my beard is so visible I’ve never been ID’d. Who needs driving licenses when you’ve got beards?! But my beard is ginger, so now everybody just says I’m ginger. I was never ginger before. My beard is ginger, but my hair isn’t really, I don’t think. Seriously, I must have about five different colours of hair on my person.

Well that was a couple of years ago now and the novelty has worn thin. I’m kind of bored of my hair, and I don’t really know what to do about it. I can’t be bothered to cut it so often. I’ve not even had the time to this summer. So my appearance a bit more scruffy at the moment. Not that it seems to matter what I do with my hair…


  1. ‘Once’called you that, eh?

    Well, the trend has caught on – Brian Molko AND Natalie Portman now both have no hair. hmmm. Neither has a a beard though…

  2. There’s absolutely nowt wrong with looking like Justin Timberlake – he is a fine man.

    Natalie Portman is lucky – she’s a grand looking woman and can therefore get away with a shaved bonce/wearing a boiler suit. Sadly the rest of us have to pay £35 a time for short hair which doesn’t make us look (too) odd.