White bread must be banned

I know talking about your lunch and so on is the sort of thing that gives blogs a bad name. But I must get this off my chest.

We’ve run out of brown bread – ever since Wednesday. It’s just awful – I’ve had to eat white bread instead. And I usually eat six or more slices per day.

What is it about white bread? It tastes like polystyrene. It even feels like polystyrene. And when you try to eat it, it sticks to the roof of your mouth like a soggy piece of cardboard.

If you make a bacon sandwich using white bread, the grease simply seeps through, making it an even more messy affair than usual. That is if it hasn’t stuck to the plate beforehand.

You can’t even make toast properly with white bread. It seems to be taller than brown bread, meaning that the top bit sticks out of the toaster, so about a quarter of your slice of bread remains untoasted.

In short, white bread must be banned.

6 comments

  1. White bread comes in different sizes, you bumhead! White bread rules, brown bread tastes minky. I dont eat bread so I can taste THE BREAD, its all about the FILLING! Please dont tell me that you eat brown rolls too…god help you…

  2. i only have brown bread in my cupboard at the moment, my mothers attempt to have me eat “healthier” food. it tastes ok if i load it with jam or cheese tho.

  3. Would you eat a polystyrene cup if it was filled with jam? No. So why eat polystyrene bread?

    And of course I eat brown rolls. But white rolls are okay.

  4. look here, alans eaten polystyrene before, so unless you have aswell, you shouldn’t compare the two, lol.