Straight in at number one in the Journalism Cliches chart is Gretna’s “fairytale” cup run.

Rubbish. There is nothing fairytale-like about being a rich bastard. It’s just Chelsea in black and white. They just happen to be in the Scottish second division.

(My friend Alan agrees. Of course, we are unbiased and our views have nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that the teams we support — me Dumbarton, he Raith Rovers — have been comprehensively pwned by Gretna in the league…)