These days I keep on getting junk mail from Specsavers trying to get me to arrange a FREE! eye test. Since the eye tests became free at the point of use in Scotland less than a year ago I must have received at least four letters about it, and they are becoming increasingly exasperated by my non-attendance.

Today’s letter begins with a line in big bold writing:

An URGENT message about your FREE eye examination

It’s now nearly three and a half years since your last sight test at this practice.

How do they know it’s urgent? Something tells me that I might be in a better position to judge whether or not I need an eye test. It’s quite simple really. If I can’t see easily, I’ll take a trip to the opticians like I did several years ago. If I can see easily, I won’t take a trip to the opticians — because I don’t need to.

I’m pretty certain that my eyesight hasn’t deteriorated in the past three and a half years. In fact, the optician that tested my eyes the last time actually gave me a row because I turned up and my eyesight hadn’t changed.

I know there is probably a good reason why the boss of Specsavers is the boss of Specsavers whereas I stack shelves in Woolies. But these letters still confuse me. Why do they now keep on sending these letters which shout louder at me each time and at an increasing frequency? Unless they must do so by law (which seems far fetched to me), they can only be doing this because they think they can make money in future, using the free eye tests as a loss leader. So why did they not make their eye tests free anyway, before the Scottish Executive told them to?