Sometimes it isn’t too difficult to imagine that a one minute silence would be held the next time Prince Philip followed through. Or how about a minute silence for the Cutty Sark?

At least the minute silence for Madeleine McCann was held in Portugal and not here. Is the news bigger in Portugal than it is here? Or are the Portuguese even worse than us when it comes to insincere silences?

Not that I wish to belittle the plight of Madeleine McCann. But, as Mr Eugenides pointed out last week, 77,000 children go missing every year. Alas, they can’t all be girls that are cute enough to attract the attention of the MSM, so the other 76,999 that go missing this year will have to do without that minute of silence.

They should take solace. I am sitting here listening to John Cage’s brilliant Sonatas and Interludes for Prepared Piano, so I know that the best silence doesn’t last one minute. It lasts 4’33″.