One of the many disadvantages of getting up early, which I have to do again from this week onwards, is the terrible choice on the radio. I can choose to put up with Nicky Campbell on Radio Five Live, but I’d frankly rather eat my own faeces. So I switch to Radio 4 expecting something a little more reasonable, and then I discover that John Humphrys is presenting. Has this old grump not retired yet??

Anyway, quote of the day courtesy of Emerald Bile, in a post about another programme to avoid, Arse School:

He’s written a book about correct usage of the English language, yet he doesn’t even know that the plural of Humphry is HumphrIES.

I was listening to the Olympic vote thingy on BBC Radio Five Live.

Nicky Campbell, the guy that actually makes me listen to the Today programme, was in Trafalgar Square. When the result came in he yelped, “YES! YES! YES! …… YES! YES!!” Then he thought he wasn’t on air. Then when he was told that he was on air he did it again. “YES! YES! I don’t care if I’m not on, I’ll do it anyway. YES! …… YES! YES!!” It was like Alan Partridge.

Then he stuck his microphone in the middle of other people’s interviews. “I got in a bit of trouble there; I was getting elbowed — but I stuck the Five Live microphone where it needed to be.”

I think if I saw Nicky Campbell on the street he’d be getting more than just elbowed. What a prick.

Update: Chicken Yoghurt on the same guy:

“I was welling up,” said the odious Nicky Campbell with his usual sense of perspective. What a girl. Christ knows what would happen to him if he saw something genuinely moving like raped children in Darfur or a holocaust museum - he’d probably explode in a lachrymose shower of snot.

Update: Heh! (Via.)

I just got an email from the Politics department at university. They’re wanting audience members for a new programme (emphasis in the original).

Tired of listening to ‘those in the know’ talking the same tired old rubbish? Heard it all before?

Then get The Last Word…with Nicky Campbell.

AAAAAARGHGHGH.

Free from E numbers…

Oh no, they’re trying to be trendy and clever.

…and the influence of ‘professional politicians’, The Last Word brings a fiery blend of writers, journalists, social commentators, and celebrity contributors to a unique forum which demands answers and offers nowhere to hide.

It sounds terrible. Like the fifth guest on Question Time — except all of them are going to be like the fifth guest on Question Time. And to top it all off it’s presented by Nicky Campbell!