Archive: Jack McConnell

Jack McConnell Scotsman front page Everybody’s going on about The Scotsman‘s new monthly opinion poll and its results showing the SNP in a good position. This is all very boring.

What really attracts my attention about this edition of The Scotsman is the fact that they have got Jack McConnell looking like an ostrich. He looks like he is about to peck at Alex Salmond like an emu to a Parky.

It doesn’t help that McConnell is appearing under a heading, “Our national bird?” Well, he does mince a bit when he’s walking if that’s what you mean…

I always quite look forward to the World Cup, but when it actually comes along I usually don’t pay as much attention to it as I expected. But on the 31st of May 2006, I can say that I am looking forward to the World Cup.

Of course, here in Scotland the big debate is: Who should Scots support? And is it wrong not to support England?

Once, a few years ago, my brother said something like, “There is nothing better than England getting beaten, but there is nothing worse than all the crowing about it at school the next day.”

I’m a bit of the opposite. I don’t really mind to see England win, but the media is just unbearable. Even the most tenuous link to 1966 is pounced upon by smug commentators from every angle. It is very tedious, especially when they are referring to England as “we” when there is no “we” about it for anybody who happens to be living in Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland, which is roughly 20% of the entire population. And the wall-to-wall coverage of Wayne Rooney’s metatarsal really is not needed!

The recent case with Mars is a prime example. Digbeth explains here. I didn’t believe it at first, but I have seen two of these billboards in Kirkcaldy. It really is terrible. They have clearly considered Scotland as an afterthought. Shoddy. It would have been better for them to just not advertise north of the border at all. Have they done the same in Wales?

STV’s trailers for the World Cup are also tragic. STV, the Scottish ITV broadcaster, has obviously taken the ITV network’s promo and slapped the STV logo on the end. This efficient tactic works with most programmes, but there is a slight problem in this instance: every single player featured in the promo is English! Honestly! Did they not think it through?! What would people in England be saying if a broadcaster produced a promo featuring nothing but German players?

When England is shoved down your throat all the time even when you don’t live there, it shouldn’t be a surprise. It is probably fair to say that the majority of Scots will not be supporting England in the World Cup. This year, the trendy team for Scots to support is Trinidad and Tobago, who have four players based in Scotland, one of whom happens to be called Scotland. Oh, and there is the small matter that they are in England’s group as well.

Jack McConnell got himself into a wee bit of hot water when he said that he wouldn’t be supporting England at the World Cup. But when Gordon Brown said he’d be supporting England he got even more stick from it, particularly from the SNP (who else?).

English people have been known to complain about the rivalry between Scotland and England. They protest that they are happy enough to support Scotland, so why shouldn’t Scots support England? Well, as David Farrer excellently points out in this post, that is completely missing the point.

Because, in footballing terms, it’s not a fellow team, but is perceived by Scots to be the number one rival. If Celtic are playing against Barcelona in a European match, do Rangers fans cheer on their “fellow” Glaswegians? Aye, right! Were Chelsea, Spurs and West Ham fans in tears over Arsenal’s recent defeat in the Champions’ League final? I don’t think so.

…Scotland aren’t (sadly) a threat to England. It’s no big deal for English folk to support Scotland in those circumstances.

Who says Scotland aren’t being represented in the World Cup though? We all know that isn’t true!

It is perhaps true that Scotland’s rivalry with England is a little childish. But then again, England has its own childish rivalries with Germany, Argentina, France, Turkey……

Home truths about home rule

Scotland has regressed into an inward-looking, slightly chip-on-shoulder, slightly Anglophobic country with no clear sense of direction.

I think the controversial bit is where they suggest that it wasn’t all of those things before devolution.

If Jack McConnell’s angry, you know it must be right.

Update: Having read it all now, I think it’s not a bad article. Interesting that it should come up at the same time as there has been a little bit of chatter about next year’s election prospects. Incidentally, MatGB added his views on it yesterday. The Economist article, though, is looking at it from a slightly more long-term perspective. Given that everybody’s been saying that things are looking bad for Labour, hence good for the SNP, it’s interesting to see The Economist describe the SNP as still the big loser from devolution.

I liked this bit of the article:

The strongest factor that prevents politicians’ minds from turning to the size of the state, however, is the fact that they do not have to raise the money to pay for it, or even the 60% of government spending they are responsible for. Over £20 billion simply drops into their hands every year from Whitehall, providing total public spending per Scot of £7,597 (in 2004-05)…

Holyrood’s politicians can hardly be blamed for this. The block grant gives them the money, and they spend it. They do not overspend; and if they are too lavish on one item they must be stricter on another. They do not, however, suffer the discipline of having to raise their revenue themselves: they are like teenagers on an allowance. And they have no incentive to promote economic growth through taxation.

The case for abolishing the block grant and giving Holyrood tax-raising powers is increasingly being made, most recently by a Liberal Democrat commission under the parliament first’s presiding officer, David Steel. Its report, drawing on the experience of other countries, is a happy exception to the parties’ generally dull introspection and poverty of thought. But most Scots, if the opinion polls are right, would be pleased to see tax-raising (and some other powers) brought home.

Beforehand I wasn’t sure about the need for more fiscal autonomy. But that is quite a convincing argument.

In that post I wrote about blogging a couple of weeks ago I said that I’d never gone out and investigated anything in my life. Well I’ve turned over a new leaf because that all changed today. To investigate the effects of the smoking ban I went to the pub. Of course, I could have gone to the pub on Sunday, but I couldn’t even be arsed to do that.

Anyway, I’ve never quite been able to make my mind up about this smoking ban. For purely selfish reasons, of course, I couldn’t wait for this smoking ban to go ahead. Too often it simply isn’t worth going out if you’re going to spend the rest of the day stinking of smoke. I will probably end up going down the pub more — I’ve already accepted one invitation that I probably wouldn’t have prior to Sunday. So instead of being on the fags I’ll be on the booze.

I’m pretty sure most people are in favour of the ban. I saw Jack McConnell on the television the other day going on about how young people in particular are heavily in favour of the ban. For once, I think he’s right. Maybe it’s just because I mainly associate with student lefties, but I can only think of one person who I’ve met in the flesh who was against the ban.

As a generation, we youngsters have had it hammered home to us pretty relentlessly. And not just by the government. Smoking family friends and relatives warn you never to start. Meanwhile, parents would disown you if you did. We know, we know: smoking will make you die horribly and slowly and those people who make you breathe in their second-hand smoke are absolute bastards.

There is just a feeling of inevitability about it all. The tide is very much against the smoking industry, and nobody is even attempting to turn the tide back in the other direction any more. Smoking in adverts is gone, smoking adverts themselves are gone, smoking in public places and workplaces is gone. And most people (particularly young people) seem pretty ambivalent about it. A friend told me he was half-expecting to see people smoking five at a time, but when I was out on Saturday I didn’t see any evidence of last-minute pre-ban defiance. It all felt very normal, in fact, as if the collective response was just, “Yeah, smoking ends tomorrow. Big deal.”

Given all this, though, I’m surprised the government even needs to step in. If there’s such a high demand for smoke-free environments, why aren’t employers and pub managers prohibiting smoking themselves? I heard that smoke-free pubs existed prior to the ban, but I certainly wouldn’t have been able to tell you where. I’d be amazed if there were any in Kirkcaldy, although I heard that there were three in Edinburgh (still not a lot though when you consider how many pubs there must be in Edinburgh).

I guess businessmen are just really risk-averse and are afraid to be the first to make that kind of decision. Just look at how all the broadsheets have turned to tabloid one-by-one. They’ve been banging on for as long as I can remember about how going tabloid will increase the number of readers because broadsheets are bloody ridiculous and give everybody a sore back. Yet none of the broadsheets made the switch, until a couple of years ago when The Independent had no other choice than to take a risk. Surprise surprise, more people began to read the Indy and then almost everybody else followed suit soon afterwards. See? It wasn’t so hard after all.

Anyway, back to the pub. There was the predicted huddle of smokers standing at the doorway, despite the fact that it was absolutely pissing it down today, but only at one of the four times I found myself passing through the door. It wasn’t the most pleasent tunnel I’ve ever been through, but it was a hell of a lot better than contending with a foggy pub for the entire duration of your visit.

Was the smoke cloaking other smells for all those years? The jury is out. It didn’t feel weird when I first walked in — everybody did turn round and stare at me and the pub did still smell like a pub. I reckoned the new carpet played a part in that smell, though some said it just smelled like stale beer. At our particular corner it smelled of old man and old man urine. Nice. I might have marginally preferred the smoke in that instance. But back home, and you wouldn’t have known I was in a pub because my clothes didn’t stink of smoke, so that is a major plus point.

All-in-all, I have personally enjoyed the new improved smoke-free Scotland. But I think the ban has gone too far. For instance, The Devil’s Kitchen has had a couple of posts detailing how our favourite television characters will no longer be able to light up. And according to The Sunday Times, “Even a request to permit herbal cigarettes has been rejected.” Isn’t that going a bit too far?

Will Howells also wrote about the regulations that businesses now face. There I wrote a comment about my experience at the train station.

…when I used the toilet at Waverley Station recently it was clear that somebody had just been smoking in it. It’s like high school or something. My clothes stank for the rest of the day.

I wonder if the smoking ban is merely going to lead people to smoke in public places secretly rather than stop smoking in public places altogether…

Maybe I’m missing something really obvious here, but I would have preferred a licensing system. If you have to have a license to sell alcohol, why not have a licensing system to give people the choice of both smoking and non-smoking pubs?

One last thing about my trip to the pub. I thought I was given a counterfeit fiver in my change. But then I realised that it was a Jack Nicklaus fiver! I’m surprised any of these are still in circulation.

Jack Nicklaus fiver

When David Farrer wrote about them when they were first issued they were going at £102+. They mostly still seem to be going for more than £5. Although if I were to use this note to pay for something it would only be worth a fiver. And it made up £5 of my change. If I think about this much more my head will probably detatch itself and walk off Beachy Head.

Apparently Scotland did wonderfully well at the Commonwealth Games. Sixth in the medals table does indeed sound pretty impressive. But on the other hand, it probably just emphasises the inherent pointlessness of the Commonwealth Games.

Jonathan Calder has a good post about the fact that this success has led to politicians taking the credit. His Toneness was very modest by pointing out the hard work his colleagues in the Scottish Executive have done:

I think people worked hard before the games as well and I know that Jack McConnell, (Sports Minister) Patricia Ferguson, the Scottish Institute of Sport – they’ve all been putting their shoulder to the wheel and it’s paid off.

I doubt, though, that Jack McConnell had much influence on any of Scotland’s eleven gold medal winners. Indeed. I’ve never really understood why these individual successes should be celebrated as national successes (never mind state successes!). If I were an athlete who had won a major sporting event, I would probably be a bit upset if the entire nation tried to free-ride on my personal awesomeness. I swam backwards through my own arsehole in record-breaking time, not the neds kicking about outside Spar. Sitting on my bum did not cause Sheena Sharp to score a gold in the shooting. As Jonathan pointed out:

The people to be praised are the medalists themselves, their coaches and (I suspect most of all) the parents who gave up their spare time to ferry them from event to event when they were younger.

I have never understood why so much public money is spent on sport. I’ve just about thought of a vaguely justifiable reason for spending public money on most things, even the arts. But sport, I just cannot understand. Maybe they’ll build a nice new stadium every now and again, but it will always be in a place that doesn’t really need one.

And why spend so much time, money and effort into getting homegrown athletes to break some record which will only be broken by somebody else from another country a few years down the line anyway? I can’t think of any reason how this can add to the quality of anybody’s life, apart from people who manage sport organisations.

There were two subjects that I couldn’t understand at school. One of them was drama, which is teaching kids to lie in a convoluted way. Well, you can see how politicians’ influence comes into that one. But nothing could top PE. I absolutely detested it. It is a bit like slavery really.

People joke that you have to “jump through hoops” if something is made unnecessarily difficult. But in PE you are made to literally jump through hoops. And swim through hoops. And swim to the bottom of the pool to collect a brick. And play rounders. And dodgeball. Does anybody do any of this shit after they’ve left school? No, not even at the Commonwealth Games! As soon as I left school the doctor told me that the best exercise I could take was to go on a walk! So thanks, national curriculum, for keeping me fit!

As Iain said in the comments at Liberal England, “if the government claims credit for sporting achievements, should they not share the blame too?” I’ve not seen Englandandwales’ sports minister apologising for any of England’s embarassments. Failing to pass the baton is embarassing enough on school sports day, never mind at a major international event.

Formula 1 coverage used to be fairly light on the patriotism. But that was back when Britain’s only decent driver was a Scot. Now ITV spend their whole time prattling on about Jenson Button. “Meeeeeeeeeeeeh, when’s Jenson Button going to get his first win?” They seem to spend about half an hour every race talking him up and how he’s surely bound to win some time soon. His Englishness has blinded everybody to the fact that Button is nothing more than an enormous, smug prick and the sort of person who will sign a contract then do everything in his power to wriggle out of it — twice.