For all the unconvincing shrieks of “political correctness gone mad”, here is one instance where I think the authorities have totally over stepped the mark when is comes to what is and isn’t deemed acceptable. The DVLA has “suppressed” a particular sequence of symbols in number plates because it “can be construed as being offensive to people”.

So what is this mucky sequence of numbers and letters? SH17? N16 63R? 5318008?

It is none of those. Get ready for this. You might have to sit down. Avert your eyes if you are easily offended.

…

SN07

Which apparently says “snot”. Instead of sending old people to their death beds with the shocking SN07, Edinburgh’s new license plates will be changed to TN07. So we are all safe from the spectre of SN07. Hurrah!

Honestly. This makes me want to spend my spare time in Edinburgh next year wiping my bogies all over any car whose license plate begins with “TN07″, just to make a point.

Oh bum. I’ve been tagged.

I now have to post “eight random facts/habits” about myself.

1. I find having a conversation a stressful chore but I quite like talking to a large group of people
2. Despite the fact that I love Formula 1, I have next to no interest in cars or driving
3. I have a fear of answering the phone
4. I have difficulty waking up. I also have difficulty falling asleep. This means that, if I have nothing to do, I end up waking up later and later every day. I have been known to go all the way around the clock.
5. I do not have any ambitions
6. I much prefer spending an evening in by myself rather than going out with a large group of friends
7. I recently discovered that I am probably intolerant to cow’s milk
8. I currently have a problem with my jaw which means that I can’t open my mouth wide. This makes eating difficult

I won’t tag anyone — unless someone wants to take it for themselves.

Proper blogging will return soon.

A little part of my everyday life was changed recently. It was changed in a way that could have potentially made things better for everyone. Instead, it’s a stinking mess-up. Worse things might happen at sea. But more irritating things don’t.

There is a particularly awkward cross-junction near the train station in Kirkcaldy. It’s not really a proper cross-junction, as you can see from the expert artist’s impression on the right.

In addition to the roads going up and down not being aligned with each other, there are high walls holding up the railway bridge. This ensures that nobody can see anything. Inevitably, this is all controlled by traffic lights.

Some bigwig at the council must have decided that this area was too dangerous for pedestrians. So the old traffic lights were taken down and replaced with new ones incorporating pelican crossings. I had assumed that they were actually going to be puffin crossings — I thought all new light controlled pedestrian crossings were puffin crossings, but seemingly not.

But because they are bog-standard pelican crossings and not fancy new puffin crossings, you have to wait until the whole bloody cycle has finished before you can cross. But by the time that has finished, you have probably taken your chance and run across the road. It wasn’t so bad before because there was a traffic island there. Back then you could cross the road one half at a time. Now you have to wait until both sides of the road are clear.

My brother also takes the train to university every day, and he is most unimpressed as well. In fact, he reckons it has added five minutes onto his journey time! I wouldn’t go that far, but it certainly is an inconvenience. Not only does it piss me — the pedestrian — off, but it also pisses the drivers off as well.

You see, inevitably I do the trick of pressing the ‘wait’ button on the first of the crossings that I come to — not the one that I use, but since they are all connected it does the job. But the drivers don’t know that. They must think I am a pesky kid pressing the ‘wait’ button just to annoy the drivers. Of course I am not childish enough to do that any more. I grew out of that at least two years ago.

And another thing — the green man takes so bloody long to make his appearance that the pedestrian has probably already crossed the road. It is not unusual for me to have walked about 100 yards when I hear the belated “beep beep beep beep” from the pelican crossings. This means that all the drivers have to wait while the green man attends to absolutely nobody crossing the road.

In short, this new pelican crossing costs everybody time and has — with the removal of the traffic island — reduced road safety. Way to go, Fife Council!

Oh, by the way. Looking at my diagram, can you guess which part of the road pedestrians usually cross over? Yes, it’s the bit in the middle, from the right of the road on the top to the left of the road on the bottom. And that is the one part of this road that doesn’t have a pelican crossing on it!

It’s this sort of behaviour that makes me really hate drivers.

I mean, really. How desperate to save time do you have to be to try this sort of stunt? Would it even save you any time? I bet these drivers have been sitting there for about five minutes waiting for a bus to come along. Sometimes I suspect drivers never have any intention of sticking to the rules. Infact, they get a serious kick out of breaking them. And then abusing the poor traffic wardens who uphold them.

Seeing these bollards heading straight towards the anus of these idiots is very satisfying. Maybe they should put these next to parking meters aswell. That would be brilliant!

Via Boing Boing.

I passed my driving test today, so watch out! (Sorry about the brief non-updates, but I’m really snowed under at the moment. Regular blogging will return in a couple of weeks!)