Archive: coca-cola

I’ve been thinking about getting involved in podcasting for a while now. So when I saw a favourite blogger of mine asking for contributors to a new podcast he was setting up, I thought it was the ideal opportunity to dip my toe in the water.

The podcast is the idea of James O’Malley, a fine chap with a jolly good blog. His thinking is to have a number of contributors chipping in to a weekly podcast which will be around 15–20 minutes long. The podcast will be along the lefty / liberal / atheist / skeptical / rationalist lines. Read James O’Malley’s explanation for more.

What was missing was a name for the podcast. A bit difficult to come up with a name for something that only exists in your brain. But with the vague template in mind, I set to work, along with the other contributors, to think of a suitable name.

Suddenly, it came to me. After I had been lying in bed literally unable to sleep for hours, it suddenly came to me: The Pod Delusion. Yes, I know. I’m a genius. Not quite a living legend like James O’Malley though. Nonetheless, the fact that I came up with the excellent name means that The Pod Delusion is definitely my podcast. The fact that I put no effort whatsoever into creating it, producing it or commissioning pieces for it is frankly neither here nor there.

Anyway, I am quite excited about The Pod Delusion. With the stellar line-up of contributors, it seems like it’s going to be ace. If everything goes to plan and this week’s pilot goes down well, you can expect a new episode every Friday. My plan is to publish all transcripts of my contributions, or an accompanying article, on this website as and when each podcast is published.

Here is the first episode of The Pod Delusion. I have just listened to it myself. Since it’s the first ever attempt, it is a tad ramshackular, but that will get better over time. All-in-all, I think it’s a fine listen.

Hopefully sometime soon it will be available over iTunes too. You can follow @poddelusion on Twitter.

My first little piece for The Pod Delusion is about product placement. When I first set about doing it, my intention was to try and make it serious. I had actually been planning to write here about the product placement hoo-ha, but then decided I could kill two birds with one stone by making it my Pod Delusion contribution too.

Unfortunately, I got a little bit carried away with the fact that I was working in an exciting new audio medium. I inserted a few audio jokes which won’t work in writing. From then on, the whole thing became just a collection of bad jokes about product placement, strung together by the flimsiest of wafer-thin serious points.

So, bearing that in mind, here is my contribution to this week’s Pod Delusion.


It was announced last week by Culture Secretary Ben Bradshaw that product placement will soon be allowed on commercial channels. I suppose there was an inevitability in this. After all, commercial broadcasters finding it harder to sustain themselves through traditional advertising in a multichannel world. Plus, we are living in an era where so many people use PVRs to fast-forward through the adverts anyway.

There has to be some way to fund commercial television. After all, what would we do without ITV? Okay, that’s a bad example. But what would we do without Channel Five? Well okay, but you get my point.

Many worry about the effects that product placement will have on the viewing experience. With product placement, there will be a question mark over the purity of the programmes we watch. Will our programmes be peppered with subliminal advertising that attempt to brainwash us into changing the brand of soap powder that we use?

I’m not so sure that will be such an issue. After all, we are well used to product placements in major films. Television programmes from other countries are filled with product placements already. I am sure that most people are savvy enough to tell what’s going on.

For instance, it can be disconcerting to watch an episode on Neighbours when one of the characters decides to open the fridge. Inexplicably, the fridge is filled from wall to wall with nothing but cans of Sprite! That is obviously a nonsensical scenario. It would have been far more realistic if the fridge was filled from wall to wall with cans of tasty Dr Pepper — “what’s the worst that can happen?”

The odd thing about imported programmes is that due to the stricter laws in the UK, our broadcasters have to blur such product placements out. But this only brings attention to the fact that there is an alien blob floating around on the screen.

Focusing on the blobs on American Idol, for instance, you can clearly see that the judges have large cups on their desk. These cups are predominantly red but with a distinctive white swirl that can only be associated with Coke. Mmm… fresh, ice cold Coke.

The new product placement rules do not affect the BBC. But it would be interesting to consider what it might be like if one day the rules were relaxed for the BBC too. After all, is there anything more ridiculous than the slightly awkward attempts to avoid using brand names during makes on Blue Peter? Referring to “sticky back plastic” may be quaint and traditional, but it is also distracting and sets off a klaxon in your brain that sounds something like: “SELLOTAPE! SELLOTAPE!

I once saw a Blue Peter make where you had to use a “crisp tube”. What on earth is a crisp tube? Crisps come in packets don’t they? What they were talking about was a pack of Pringles. Given that Pringles are the only make of crisps to be sold in that style of tub, you can more or less guarantee that sales of Pringles went through the roof anyway — all because of the BBC’s massive abuse of power.

Well I think I have said all there is to say about product placement. I think what I will do now is take off my Specsavers glasses and shut down my Asus Eee PC. Then I think I will listen to my Apple iPod, while eating a fresh sandwich from Subway.

Or perhaps I will just go for a piss in my Armitage Shanks toilet.

Andrew at Definition Britain has a post about Coke Zero, so called because that’s how many people buy it. Seriously, sales of Coke Zero are falling after the initial launch buzz.

It wasn’t as if Coke Zero seemed to be selling very well anyway. Coke Zero launched just before I started working at Woolworths. What was notable was just how much of this Coke Zero (which I had never heard of) was lying in the stock room. We couldn’t bring them up because they simply weren’t selling.

Coca-Cola really messed it up if you ask me. A lot of people thought that Coke Zero was actually replacing Diet Coke! It’s not — it’s just Coke’s version of Pepsi Max (only about ten years after Pepsi Max launched). Funny how Coke decided to call theirs ‘Zero’ while Pepsi’s is ‘Max’. I see that the new Pepsi Max adverts are making fun of this.

Anyway, Coke Zero was designed to be a drink that appealed to men because Coke has become too closely associated with women. So say surveys and whatnot, apparently. It’s true though. Everybody remembers those Diet Coke adverts with those women cooing over a builder taking his shirt off. The advert was so strong that the whole Coke brand has become girly.

Normal Coca-Cola just about escapes. At around the same time as the famous Diet Coke adverts, normal Coca-Cola was all “Eat football, sleep football, drink Coca-Cola”. Nobody was really convinced, but at least it provided distance from that awful Diet Coke campaign.

But when I first saw Coke Zero I thought, “That must be aimed at women.” This was despite the distinctly non-girly packaging and the (awful) adverts with blokes talking about blokey things. And this is the worst bit of all about Coke Zero. The adverts are possibly among the worst I have ever seen.

“Wouldn’t it be great,” says a fictitious knuckle-dragging reader of Nuts and / or Zoo magazine who was created by a marketing man, “if you could have work without the boss?”

A banal thought. What is the point? But it doesn’t end there.

“Why don’t you get girlfriends without all the plans? Why don’t you get bras without the fumbling? Why can’t you get a holiday where you don’t have to come home?”

Yes, this is the most contrived advert I have ever seen. It is trying so hard to be blokey, but it just comes across as what it is: a really, really bad advert.

And have you ever actually met somebody who would actually say, in a normal conversation, “Great Coke taste… Zero sugar!” It couldn’t sound more like Teleshopping if it tried. Even if a normal person were to say something like that he would say, “This tastes just like Coke. And it’s got no sugar.”

I hope that Coke Zero is off our shelves very soon, just because of those terrible adverts.

I am shattered. I feel like I’ve been working hard for a full week, but I totally haven’t. I only went into Edinburgh twice this week and I didn’t even do very much while I was there. (Of course, revision didn’t happen.)

The only thing that I can think of is the fact that I had to run (quite a long way) to catch the train on Wednesday, even though I was kicking around at a friend’s until about 8pm. So I could have left at any time and caught the train in a leisurely manner. But I badly underestimated the amount of time it took to walk to the station. It’s just as well I started running when I did, because the I literally could not have been any later. And if I had missed that train I’d have had to have waited a full hour for the next one, which would not have made me very happy.

I went in again today and did nothing too strenuous. I guess I feel so tired because for the past three weeks the most active thing I have done is scratch my arse. I have been sleeping for about nine to ten hours per night, and when I wake up I feel really heavy and stiff, almost as though I’ve been sleeping with a pile of books pushing down on top of me. Weird.

All of this is a round-about way of telling you that in the coming weeks there could well be light blogging for the next few weeks due to the upcoming exams. Although now that I’ve said that I will probably be blogging more than ever… Procrastination and all that.

Okay, that was a really boring post, so to make up for that, I want to ask about fizzy drinks. It’s usually a bad idea for me to have any, because they often make me feel ill. But I was intrigued by the new Coca-Cola with Lime, so I had some earlier on. Can anybody actually taste any lime? It just tastes like normal coke to me. The only difference is the garish bottle.

My brother bumped into some bloke called Gordon Brown in the High Street yesterday. My brother said he’s not 18 yet and moved on. Lucky him — I don’t know what I’d say if I met Gordon Brown.

I met a canvassing politician during the week aswell. Unfortunately it was a student politician, as the Edinburgh University Students’ Association elections were last week. Ruth Cameron, whose victory was actually never in much doubt, came up to me and I just gasped and said, “I’ve already voted,” which I had. I tried to look like I was in a serious hurry, even though I was actually fifteen minutes early.

She asked if I voted for her. EUSA’s elections use the Single Transferable Vote system, so I could have just wussed out and said, “Yes,” and run off. But I stopped. I couldn’t remember whether I put her second or third, but I think it was third. She’s far too attractive so I said, “…I think I voted you second.” Tough. This is a person who has edited both Student and Hype, the major university publications. She is clearly going to be either a journalist or a politician and must therefore be avoided, no matter how attractive she is.

The fact that she raised an eyebrow and said, “Below the rabbit?” is a measure of both her self-confidence and the inevitability of her victory. Yes, a rabbit stood. The rabbit came second. And in the end, it didn’t even matter whether I voted her second or third, because it never even had to go past the first vote.

Should anyone be interested, I voted for some guy called Brodie first, purely because of his anti-People & Planet stance. P&P have managed to ban Nestlé products from being sold and their next target is Coca-Cola. Nothing against boycotts, but if Edinburgh students wanted to boycott Nestlé they would do it anyway. There is no need for this to be imposed on everybody else; it’s just ridiculous.