Archive: Big Brother

Well a happy new year to you, now that we are actually in it. I notice that a few bloggers (like Will) have been posting their top five posts. I can assure you that the five most-viewed posts of the year will not have been my five best posts of the year. They will just be the ones that have attracted Googlers the most.

But no surprises as to what was number 1:

  1. Big Brother’s Big Saviour. This post about Russell Brand stormed to the top of all sorts of mucky Google searches after some person in the comments mentioned Imogen’s sex tape. Disgusting. This page accounted for over 10% of all visits to this blog this year!
  2. Richard Hammond. Descended into a debate about whether it’s disrespectful to dislike somebody (Steve Irwin) even though they’re dead.
  3. Weekend mornings are meaningless once again. Simon Amstell left Popworld, but most people were only interested in searching for pictures of Miquita Oliver.
  4. Another new Freeview channel. This post lays into smileTV, Freeview’s mankiest channel. People arrive at this page looking for information on Freeview channels. I imagine this post is a good advert.
  5. Countdown to PS2’s Formula One 06. I’m still a little bit peeved that the actual review I wrote for this game is nowhere near as popular. Gah.

A few posts from 2005 were actually more popular than some of these, but they don’t count right because we’re talking about 2006.

The ‘popularity contest’ plugin, which also takes into account things like comments and whatever else, comes up with a slightly different result:

  1. Big Brother’s Big Saviour
  2. Another new Freeview channel
  3. Weekend mornings are meaningless once again
  4. Time Trumpet. I can’t even remember what I wrote in this post.
  5. MySpace UK seems to have launched. Check out the comments full of emos who are shocked at the way I diss their Space.

So there you have it. My five (or seven) best posts of the year. I wouldn’t recommend it. Although I can deduce that April was a stupidly popular year. Hmm. I will try and get some kind of Reddit- / Digg-style voting plugin for this blog. That would probably be much better.

Okay, how else can I look at last year? What music I’ve listened to. I know I still haven’t posted my top ten albums of 2006 yet. I promise that is coming. But Last.fm offers a handy way to track what you listen to, and a glance at the rolling year chart on this day allows me to have a look at what I listened to over the past year. This will change tomorrow, so it’s worth taking a note of, if you’re interested in that kind of useless information.

  1. Boards of Canada (851)
  2. Radiohead (674)
  3. Pulp (624)
  4. Broadcast (615) — I don’t remember listening to this much Broadcast?!
  5. Autechre (607)
  6. Squarepusher (588)
  7. The Fiery Furnaces (579)
  8. Tortoise (472)
  9. Aphex Twin (384)
  10. Prefuse 73 (366)

Perhaps the most surprising thing (apart from how high Broadcast are) is how low Autechre are. For the most part though, this isn’t too different to my all-time top ten on Last.fm.

As for the tracks chart, apart from two tracks that appeared on two different releases (thus probably getting twice as many listens as they otherwise would have), all of my top ten is made up of tracks from Florida by Diplo and Everything Ecstatic by Four Tet. I got both of those albums for last Christmas. So that is probably proof that I don’t spend nearly as much time on the computer as I used to. The chart will probably look completely different at the end of the month.

Sorry I didn’t post much during the weekend, but I was worried that I was going to run out of bandwidth, so I was doing my own little part to limit the damage. I was probably going to run out of bandwidth for this month anyway, but I waited until the end of the bank holiday before deciding to upgrade. And then this happened.

Spike in visitors

I didn’t even say anything about Imogen’s mucky video. I haven’t watched it, honest guv! It was that pesky commenter!

Interesting that the latest news about the video has meant much more people searching for information on it, making the previous spike look utterly insignificant.

Normal service will resume as soon as I can be bothered!

Look at what’s causing a spike of traffic to this blog…

Site referrers

And I haven’t even highlighted all of them. Crazy old internet, huh?

This year’s Big Brother has been a pile of old bum apparently. A bunch of the original housemates turned out to be possibly too ill. A series of stunts devised by the producers has backfired — the Golden Ticket housemate turning out to be an immense dullard, and the building of a “secret house next door” which wasn’t soundproof. In past years I actually watched a lot of Big Brother Live, but this year they all seem to go to bed early. Pah.

But I’m still kind of keeping in touch with what’s going on. Why? Because the spin-off discussion show, Big Brother’s Big Mouth, has become essential weeknightly viewing. They show it on E4 from Tuesday–Friday after the main Channel 4 show, but it actually feels better in its late-night repeat slot on Channel 4.

BBBM is not a must-watch because of any groundbreaking format or because of the wonderful insight that the participants have to offer. It is a must-watch because it is presented by Russell Brand.

The comedian polarises opinion. I wasn’t sure at first. But on one boring evening when I was flicking through the channels I caught him at full throttle, in the middle of an energetic tirade. I can’t remember what it was about — it might have been about one of the housemates, but it was more likely to be about his dinkle. I became a fan. Now that the programme is on at a more suitable late-night timeslot I try to catch it every time it’s on — and there certainly aren’t many programmes I can say that about.

Before he was resurrected in BBBM, Russell Brand got himself involved in all sorts of shameful debauchery. A heroin addict, he once infamously turned up to work at MTV on September 12th 2001 dressed as Osama bin Laden. It probably seemed like a good idea at the time… But he’s clean now! And he’s got loads of funnies about it all which he uses in his stand-up routines, such as: “The thing about heroin, it’s very more-ish.”

If I have a criticism of Brand on BBBM it is that a lot of the programme is actually the same every night — it has become very catchphrase-heavy over time. Regular viewers know that the script changes very little from day-to-day, as Brand tries to shoehorn new jokes into the same old punchlines.

For instance, before the end of part 1 every day, Brand will launch into a soliloquy about his ball bags. His speech will always end with the words, “the swines!” Sometimes audience members will attempt to join in with him at the end, as though it is some kind of greatest hits concert.

Although I like the regular bits, Brand is at his best when he is ad-libbing and interacting with the crowd. During the show he mingles amongst the crowd like Kilroy. He wields a Wogan-style stick microphone, thrusting it around like a rapier whilst firing off quick-witted funnies.

Once an audience member was in the middle of a banal speech about how lovely Pete is, and how he doesn’t have a bad word to say about anyone. Brand retorted, quick as a flash: “Yeah he does, he keeps on saying ‘wankers’.”

Brand doesn’t just tell rude jokes about Big Brother though. He is still on MTV (despite being sacked from it several times), and he now has a weekly radio programme on 6music. Justin at Chicken Yoghurt, though, likes him most for his World Cup column in The Guardian.

Unfortunately I’m not so much into football, so most of the jokes in that column would go straight over my head. I did read it once, but the bit I liked the best was the bit that wasn’t about football:

Shouting at a football match, like talking during sex, should only be undertaken with supreme confidence and commitment.

Yelping, “Blimey, you’ve done a goal” or “I’m gonna do a sex on you” can mar, irrevocably, the necessary tension.

Charlie Brooker: Supposing… Galloway really tried to balls up his career:

[Upon eviction, George Galloway was] greeted by what sounded like an explosion in a boo factory…

In PR terms, it’s hard to think of anything worse he could’ve done during his stay in the house. But I’ll have a go. He could have 1) masturbated repeatedly on camera, staring the viewer straight in the eye; 2) pooed into a big bowl of flour in the middle of the kitchen; and 3) killed at least nine of his fellow housemates…

Heheheheheh.