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Archive: Horse Shit

The time Scuderia Ferrari told me off

9 October 2011 10:58

Categories: *, Formula 1, Horse Shit, Internet

Early on during this morning’s Japanese Grand Prix, Fernando Alonso overtook Felipe Massa. Massa didn’t make it difficult for Alonso — not that you would expect him to.

Scuderia Ferrari immediately tweeted on their official Twitter account:

Fernando passed Felipe using the DRS
9 October 2011 07:12 via TweetDeckReplyRetweetFavorite
@InsideFerrari
Scuderia Ferrari

Just for fun, I cheekily replied:

...and his status within the team. RT @: Fernando passed Felipe using the DRS
9 October 2011 07:13 via TweetDeckReplyRetweetFavorite
@vee8
Duncan Stephen

They responded!

@ Be serious and look the race....
9 October 2011 07:13 via TweetDeckReplyRetweetFavorite
@InsideFerrari
Scuderia Ferrari

I have to admit to doing a little victory dance in my chair at having riled Ferrari enough to provoke them to reply.

I wasn’t being terribly serious with my tweet. It’s not especially that I thought Massa let Alonso through, or even that doing so would be wrong. Nor was my tweet about team orders. It was more about how Alonso can assert his authority at Ferrari.

But it’s interesting that Ferrari are touchy about the suggestion.

All good banter though.

Beneath the jump, an image of the tweet for posterity.

Click for more »

8 comments

Horse Shit — Wind problematics

30 April 2011 20:04

Categories: Formula 1, Horse Shit

Another dollop of derrière drizzle from Ferrari’s anonymous “Horse Whisperer”.

Horse Shit logo

The Horse Whisperer has been seeing recently some vicious rumours regarding the poor start to the Scuderia Ferrari season. It is clear that things cannot continue as they are, and we are absolutely determined to reach the bottom of this situations.

However, contrary to vicious media reports, there has not been a problem with the calibration of our wind tunnel. It is undoubted that the on-track performance of the F-150º Italia (or the C-65.56° as it is called in the new monies) does not match up with the figures gleaned from wind tunnel runnings.

However, we can be assured as always of the engineering excellence of which Ferrari is so gloriously famed.

As a result, we cannot escape the conclusion that the laws of physics are conspiring against the Scuderia. It is clear to us now that during the winter the laws of physics were changed in order to disfavour the Ferrari charge. It must be to stop the Scuderia from becoming so dominant.

The tifosi can be rest assured that we are working hard to update our cars in time for Barcelona in order to make full advantage of the new laws of physics.

Comments closed

Horse Shit – Rubber intrigues

9 March 2011 11:55

Categories: Formula 1, Horse Shit

Ferrari’s Horse Whisperer suffers another bout of botty bother in Barcelona.

Horse Shit logo

It was of greatly surprise for the Horse Whisperer to see, once again, competitor teams copying the approach of the famous Scarlet brand. It was very intrigue that other teams also are running the Pirelli rubbers during Valencia testing, just as Ferrari are doing so.

We suppose it should be a compliment that once again rival teams copy the Scuderia approach in selecting the world famous tyre manufacturer of Boobies Calendar reknown. After all, we have seen this before when all the teams followed suit in running Bridgestone rubber years after Ferrari began doing so.

But because the Prancing Horses is a team of immense integrity, we will rise above it all and will not lodge any complaint or make any sort of fusses about it whatsoever.

1 comment

Horse Shit – F150 is not a truck

9 February 2011 23:41

Categories: *, Formula 1, Horse Shit

I am making an early return to reveal an exclusive unpublished bum belch from Ferrari’s ‘Horse Whisperer’.

Horse Shit logo

It is greatly amuse to see that the unrefined ones at Ford Motors Company are miffed with our choice of the ‘F150′ designation for our latest F1 challenger (car). The reasonings behind ‘F150′ name are the clearest for all to see. In celebration of 150 years since the reunionification of Italy, we use the number 150. Then we stick an F on front of it. Purely obviousness.

In fact, it is clear for all to see that it is Ford who are the opportunistic ones for attempting to associate their pickup truck — which as far as the opinion of the Horse Whisperer can see is two steps removed from crappy mini-lorry — with the piece of beauty and artwork that is the true F150. In fact, we threaten with legal action the all trucks of Ford running in the colour Scarlet, as this is a clear breach of the Ferrari world-class brand.

And before anyone make any wise cracks about F150 being an apt name for our grand prix car in case we have produced a shitbox this year, let me be the first one to point out that we have not produced a shitbox, and this is not a funny joke anyway. The Fords are the joke in this situations, and you have an ugly face.

4 comments