A lot of people are really snooty about Big Brother. But I have always respected it quite a lot. It is not merely a stupid programme full of stupid people. It is a lot smarter than almost every other reality TV show out there.

Most reality television shows are about which celebrity can eat the grossest animal gonads, or completely fucking up somebody’s family life, or just embarrassing poor unwitting members of the public. In Big Brother, the ‘game’ element is seeing how people interact with each other. By any other name, this is anthropology.

Besides, for somebody as intensely misanthropic as me, Big Brother can be nothing but excellent viewing. I have come to see it as an annual affirmation of my beliefs about the human race.

Anyway, there is something that I have noticed about the housemates that I can’t really understand. Every Friday night, most (though not all) of the housemates get dolled up and dress really smartly.

In one way, you might expect this. If a housemate is up for eviction and they are expecting to leave the house, meet a big crowd and get interviewed by Davina, it is understandable.

But it cannot be put down to them appearing on television, because they are appearing on television 24/7 anyway. And here is the puzzle. It is not just potential evictees that dress up on a Friday night. Most housemates do it, regardless of whether they have been nominated or not. I don’t think I understand why.

I’ll admit to a prejudice here. I loathe dressing up. Looking smart is all very well, but dressing up in posh clothes is just pretentious. It is like those chavvy people who hire limousines. They are lying to themselves and to others.

Anyway, why do Big Brother contestants often choose to dress up for the Friday eviction show? You might say it is because the Friday show is the most important and most watched episode of the week. In essence, the housemates are guaranteed to appear on television, and to a larger audience than other times.

But their superficially smart appearance is ruined by the fact that everyone has just spent the past fifteen minutes of the same programme watching highlights of them sitting around in their boxers scratching their crack.

I was also amused by that time when Shabnam had her make-up confiscated by Big Brother. Shabnam protested quite strongly. This was despite the fact that whenever I tuned into the live feed she had a face covered in so much cream that she looked like the goth from The IT Crowd.

One of the side-effects of appearing on Big Brother is that we see contestants at their worst. Dressing up on a Friday is like putting a sprig of parsley on a plate of mud.

If housemates dress up on Friday because they are guaranteed to appear on television, it follows that they ought to dress up when they have a big argument — another event which is almost guaranteed to be televised. I can just imagine it. “Let’s not have this argument just now; I haven’t changed out of the t-shirt that I spilt Pot Noodle down.”