Some years ago I observed that there is something odd about the way our Scottish Members are named. Too many of them are equipped with two Christian names (Nicol Stephen, Malcolm Bruce) or two surnames (Menzies Campbell). My point was obviously taken, as immediately afterwards our friends North of the Border took to selecting people with sensible names like John Barrett and Alan Reid. So it is with dismay this morning that I open a letter (from “A Well-Wisher, Peterculter”) and find it contains a crumpled cutting from Liberal Democrat News showing a photograph of the aforementioned Stephen, his wife and children. The photograph itself is charming, as are the names of their daughters – Mirrhyn and Mharni – but the names the couple have chosen for their sons give me the gravest concern. Macleod Stephen? Drummond Stephen? The poor boys have been named backwards! The tragedy is that Stephen Macleod and Stephen Drummond would be excellent names: one could imagine the latter coming on first change for Worcestershire. Such is my concern that I dictate a letter to Jim Wallace – or should I call him “Wallace Jim”? – urging him to act at once.